Spam F*&K D@#K Boob Job J. Wayne Leonard's Salary

Dear God,

We've had some PR trouble this week:

1. Philip Baruth made fun of one of my colleague's press releases, in which she announced that "Enexus Energy Corporation" is the new, official name for NewCo and that EquaGen LLC would be a joint venture between Entergy and Enexus and would operate the Enexus plants.
   
   
2. The NRC complained that we didn't adequately "sell" them on the quality of the nozzle test calculations that we used to assure everyone that relicensing the Vermont Yankee plant for another 20 years would be safe.
   
   
3. The NRC also announced that it has not "bought" our plan to raid for spent fuel storage expenses the funds set aside for decommissioning Vermont Yankee.
   

And so, with trouble to the right of me and trouble to the left of me, I have enrolled in an online PR course to enhance my PR skills. Please, Lord, would you look over these draft email press releases and give me some feedback?
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Good evening, dear Friend. It is time to be ready for sex! How? We are proud to introduce our Lovers Package. Click here to see real college girls teach you that our energy prices are the lowest ones around. Those prices will stay low for another 3-1/2 years! And then they'll go up! So buy now. If you act quickly we'll send you any medication you can name against sexual dysfunction. Just name 'em; we'll ship 'em. Good Bye.


GET YOUR MAIN LOVE WEAPON BIGGER
Failure always leaves a mark on a man's face, just like success does, and women can read those marks awfully well. Be a broad-chested guy with a confident look in his eyes and a swagger in his step. Women will think: "There's something about that man. He looks so confident! This could be interesting." Call Entergy for nozzle effect recalculation surgery right away. But act fast! We'll be changing our name soon to keep you guessing. And why wait? There is no downside that I can think of to trusting us completely.
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What do you think, Lord? Should I load in the distribution list and click send?

Fake-Rob (a/k/a Equabob)