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I've had a terrible dream. Or is it just a terrible idea? It was about Joan Rivers writing a column for people who've had too many face lifts -- or extended the age of their nuclear power plants too darn far.
(Lord, here I need you to imagine wavy lines occupying your field of vision and strange, discordant music. You're entering into my dream sequence.)
Q. Joan, I've think I've overdone things. How many times should one gussy up one's nose/lips/eyebrows/cheekbones? Does one's face eventually just fall apart after too much tweaking?
A. I'm glad you asked that question!
Have you wondered if the fountain
of youth really exists? Sounds like you're busy looking for it! Sadly, it doesn't, not in the mythical sense. But there are many ways to slow down the aging process and look and feel younger. Remember: One can't be too careful when dealing with face lifts and aging nuclear reactors.Here are a few concerns that I hope are being carefully addressed:
1. Water is your number one beauty ally. Drink plenty of it and offer some to your nuclear power plant, too! Because, remember, radiation hardening can result in brittleness for a reactor vessel and its components.
2. Stress can play havoc with your complexion—and with the metal welds in your reactor. Sleep is the natural healer for skin. De-commissioning and de-contamination is what works for aging plants.
3. Thermal cycling fatigue and the potential for cracking in metals can cause enormous problems in plants and may trigger automatic shutdowns and/or widespread panic and contamination. Thermal fatigue on your skin is going to look like a sunburn. Apply aloe.
4. In a plant, aging electronic control components should be replaced and redundant systems should be installed. For aging skin, remember that heavy powder is your enemy. It gets caught in fine lines and can magnify them, making you look older.
(Imagine more wavy lines and creepy music now.)
Lord, do you think I need Ambien?
Fake-Rob
1 comment:
Dear Fake Rob,
I am speechless! You just made my day with your honesty and vulnerability, something I have desperately desired from any staff related to VY/Entergy or the NRC.
I have tirelessly attended VY meeting after meeting over the years and have always felt that I just couldn't connect as a human being with you and your comrades.
Excuse me, I just lied. "Tirelessly" does not depict at all what I felt at those meetings. Exhausted and warped are more accurate. At most of these meetings I felt as if I had entered a nightmare myself because I obviously had not ingested (or sucked up) enough radioactivity to understand anything VY/Entergy spokepeople said as reality-based. Being a therapist, had to leave many VY meetings to soothe my aching analyst head and keep my blood pressure down. I don't know if there is any relationship or bloodline, but I have experience these similar physical/emotional/spiritual sensations the first (and every) time George W. Bush speaks.
However, in relation to you Fake Rob, I feel that suddenly the veil has been lifted and I see how much Entergy cares for "We, The People," particularly our children, and, of course, our beautiful environment. For the first time in about 35 years, I feel as if I understand the sufferings of PR persons at nuclear power plants. And those newspaper Entergy ads you put out about how clean and safe your plant is, makes me want to open one in my backyard right here in Putney. Can you tell me how a private citizen can that?
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