And I Made a TV Commercial, Too!

Dear God,

OMG, our television commercials! Back in December they seemed just about perfect, but now that 2010 has hit, all that I can say about them is, "What were we possibly thinking?" We featured employees making claims about the safety of the plant and the price of power. Now I realize that specifics about all of that just leave us open to attacks from the media about credibility. Our steam dryer has new cracks, we're dripping tritium into the Connecticut River, pipes carrying God knows what are leaking everywhere, the cooling tower keeps bailing on us, we forgot to monitor radiation at the fenceline, Federal regulators said that the concrete-and-steel "dry casks" that we use to store spent nuclear fuel were not tested as completely as they should have been, we keep having to evacuate our workers, and the 81 "action items" identified after a reliability assessment have been addressed but not acted on.

And the price of power? Let me just say that by offering a higher rate than the going rate we have not elicited cheers and confetti from the good people of Vermont.

My new media strategy is to stay vague. And so, just like I made that nice, pink "I Love Vemont Yankee" web site to replace our broken green "I Am Vermont Yankee" one, I've made us a kinder, fuzzier television commercial. And because some members of the media complained about everyone featured on "I Am Vermont Yankee" being homogenous, my new mush-mouthed spokesman is definitely non-mainstream (nuclear plant worker-wise). That and he works for candy.

And so now I present for your viewing pleasure a Vermont Yankee television commercial in which our spokesman says nothing, absolutely NOTHING about which people can take us to task. Really.

Is it rolling, Bob?



Aren't we adorable?

Amen,

Fake-Rob