Tritium Leak

Dear God,

What the heck's a "multi-disciplined team?"

"Yankee has assembled a multi-disciplined technical team," Yankee
spokesman Real-Rob Williams was quoted as saying in today's Reformer. It was in an article announcing that tritium, a radioactive isotope, has been found in a groundwater well at Vermont Yankee.

I know what a multi-disciplinary team is. But we don't need one of those. We've got Bill Irwin, Vermont’s chief of radiological health, acting as as our chief apologist. The astute application of a little government endorsement at times like these can go a long way toward mitigating a PR disaster and, who knows, maybe even an environmental one. Thanks, Bill!

You know, Lord, I had a small dog once, and I used to hit him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper whenever he disobeyed. I had to do it a lot, actually, when he was a puppy. So maybe what Real-Rob meant to say was that we have a technical team here at Vermont Yankee, that they've let some pretty scary things happen, and that even though we're claiming that there are no health risks involved in this tritium leak we're taking it seriously. We're going to discipline the team again and again until they grow up and make this plant safe, clean, and reliable.

After all, what's an ace security force good for if not for the skilled application of newspaper to nose?

Let me know if you hear anything more about the tritium leak. 'Cause a tritium leak could signify that there's a whole plume of contamination under the reactor. Concentrations of the tritium might be far higher other places than in the one well we just happened to test.

Also, please keep in close touch about the multi-disciplined team. 'Cause if members of the media start asking questions about them, we could be brought up on charges of cruelty or something.

Thanks for all your help, Lord. I've got your back, too.

Amen,

Fake-Rob