Nuclear Fart Bear

Dear Lord,

"Wasn't me." That's what we say here at Vermont Yankee when someone creates an awful smell in a crowded elevator. And then someone else always makes a remark about how at least we know it's not a radiation leak, because radiation has no odor.

"Wasn't me." That's also what we say here at Vermont Yankee when someone does something stupid that causes an emergency. I'm talking about events like security breaches, the failure of the crane break earlier this year, and the emergency shutdown of the plant last September. According to the Rutland Herald, there have been so many of these that "the NRC's regular midcycle report to Entergy Nuclear dated Sept. 2 pointed out the utility had received six inspection findings in one year with the 'cross-cutting' problem of human performance."

"Safe, clean, and reliable" is another one of our favorite expressions at Vermont Yankee. I'd rank it right after "Wasn't me." Granted, as VPIRG pointed out, "safe, clean, and reliable" may smell about as pleasant as one of our famously fragrant elevators, considering our ongoing record of human error.

Hey, Lord, here's another "Wasn't me"--maybe my favorite. I didn't ask Sarah Palin to be the Republican's vice presidential candidate. No one here at Vermont Yankee did! Though I do thank you, Lord, for putting that bug in John McCain's ear. Because that announcement preoccupied everyone in the media during much of the very week that VPIRG announced it was suing Entergy for engaging in deceptive advertising. VPIRG got about four inches of frantic newsprint for that lawsuit, and then everyone got distracted. "Sarah Palin." "Sarah Palin." "Sarah Palin." Thank you, Lord. I'd rather read that than "Shut the damn plant down!" over and over.

Just like New Orleans dodged the bullet of the hurricane, we here at Vermont Yankee dodged VPIRG. And while I wish I could take credit for how quickly that crisis evaporated, I have to admit once again that it …

Wasn't me.

Anyway, Lord, the control room operators and I have been playing this cool Nuclear Fart Bear game that I found on the Internet. It's plenty clean, safe, and reliable, and lots of innocent butterflies die.

Amen, and thanks again for a great week,

Fake-Rob