The Sympathy Card

Dear God,

Do you remember how I've mentioned that, in the PR industry, we sometimes use calendar events to spice up our messages to the people?

Well, this is April, and I'm going to add spice. Because in this month alone, we here at Entergy/Vermont Yankee have had some PR setbacks. For example, in April:

1. Ahem. Our condenser sprang a leak. It's a small leak--too small for us to easily find. And while the public tends to get alarmed about mystery leaks in nuclear power plants, this particular leak isn't presenting any immediate danger. (It does present a problem, though. River water is getting into the condenser. If the breached section weakens further due, say, to the water passing through it, more water would get in. More water getting in would mean an even stronger weakening force and an even bigger leak and even more water getting in and--well, you can probably see how matters could get out of hand. Long story short: If enough water gets in, the once-tiny leak could end up actually ruining the billion dollar plant). This April, when I notified the press about the leak I wanted to allay fears. I called the leak "a routine evolution for steam cycle plants with condensers." Nobody complained.
   
   
2. Except for Philip Baruth (who somehow weasled out of his promise to post on his blog a series of nude pictures of me). Adding insult to injury, he called my choice of "language here … exceptionally upfucked, even for VY. Suddenly the break-down of components is not just routine, but evolutionary, as though the plant is actually degrading, component by component, into a higher life form of some sort."

In April, this happened, too:

1. The Windham Regional Commission indicated that it is not ready to recommend that Entergy/Vermont Yankee be given a new certificate of public good. It did so in a letter to the Vermont Public Service Board. The letter expressed huge concerns about the safety and reliability of the plant and the potential costs to Vermont taxpayers of plant operation, waste management, decommissioning, and site remediation.
   
   
2. Things don't look good for us in the Vermont House and Senate, either. They're saying that our decommissioning fund isn't what we promised and neither is our decommissioning plan. They don't much like our plan to spin Vermont Yankee and Entergy's other northeast plants into a limited liability company, either. And here I've been spending all my drinks money with NRC inspectors who were already in the bag.

Also this month:

1. People caught on that Entergy/Vermont Yankee's reluctance to pay for the sort of testing that was needed on the plant's condenser prior to jacking up the throughput on the plant by 20% seems to have resulted in the condenser leak I mentioned before.
   
   
2. In a perfect example of bad timing, just after our stupidity about scrimping on testing was made abundantly evident, The New York Times reported that scrimping on the part of a contractor (weak rivets rather than the expensive kind) may be what sank the Titanic.

Lord, how can I spin this month of disappointing happenings and coincidences in a way that makes it all more comprehensible to the people of Vermont while pointing the finger of blame in any direction other than mine? How can I admit to having helped my employer blithely give Vermonters assurances but no actual guarantees that they wouldn't be killed in their sleep or caught holding the bag on an enormous liability?

Should I play the sympathy card here? I don't think I've tried that before. Do you think now would be the time for me to let everyone know that it's International Twit Award Month?

Amen,

Fake-Rob