Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Condenser Leaks Are the New Black

Dear God,

Just saying. We were warned by Arnie Gundersen during the uprate hearings that our condenser is so old and decrepit it's lucky to withstand gravity. So now that we've sprung another condenser leak—and the one from April of 2008 has yet to be found and fixed—we'd better make them look less like pestilence and more like a fashion choice. Here goes:

CONDENSER LEAKS: THEY'RE THE NEW BLACK!

  • Indian Point gets them.



  • Davis-Besse gets them.



  • Angelina Jolie gets them.



And it's not like they're dangerous or anything. Worst thing that can happen may be that our condenser gets flooded by river water, ruined, and we close down the plant for good and stick the state of Vermont with a huge decommissioning liability.

And if we can't succeed with the "fashion choice" tactic, I'm hoping maybe we can get people to think about condenser leaks along the same lines that they're thinking about Prince's double hip replacement.

"Prince—So Hip He Needs Two New Ones."

You see, Prince, like us, is refusing to put time and money into maintenance. He just can't seem to do the necessary repairs. From Showbiz411.com:

"He’s in a lot of pain,” said a source who was backstage with him … at the Apollo. “He’s popping pain killers and hoping it will all go away."

So are we.

Amen,

Fake-Rob

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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This is the fake Helen Caldicott. Please do not confuse my satirical persona with the real snivelling, bulimic, hysterical old fart of similar name!

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Since we all know that atoms are deep, deep inside our colons, and deep, deep inside our groins, and since we all HATE ATOMS.... the solution becomes obvious. We shall each turn our backs on our brothers and sisters, lift up our besmirched haunches, and signify by doing so that we wish to be PURGED of all evil atomic vapors, and any nuclear chunks, by the cleansing action of distilled water, coffee, lye soap and a little tabasco sauce!

I just would like to warn you all not to stand too close behind your brothers/sisters while applying the cleaning solution, or we may have to hose you down from the OUTSIDE, as well! After the application of the waters, we will be ready to stand up (carefully) and take our rightful place as THE FAKE ANTINUCLEAR MOVEMENT !

As your fake mentor, I will be satirically checking in here from time to time, for a dose of constitutionally protected ribaldry, outrageously bad advice, totally incredible looney-tunes conspiracy theory fluff, and all the other mainstays of my realworld counterpart!

We just wish to warn you all, that although I may be fake, the joys of the antinuclear enema are not!

Let all good antis , longing for openness, transparency, and lack-of-neutrons, finally get what you have deserved for so long!

REAL ENEMAS FOR FAKE ANTIS !!!