Posts
Item 1: The state health department changed the way it measured radiation at Vermont Yankee without getting the approval of a legislative committee. If they hadn't changed the method, we would have exceeded the specified limit by a long shot. But they did, and we came in under the wire, and now people are suspicious. And we don't care.
Item 2: I refused to say anything definitive when pressed to assert that Entergy and Vermont Yankee will honor the right of either the state legislature or the DPS to withhold from Vermont Yankee the right to operate the plant after its current license expires in 2012. People are nervous and angry. And we don't care.
Actually, I care, Lord, deeply. Vermont Yankee is having an image slump as a result of these two items, and if I let that slump continue I may get a poor employee evaluation. Grabbing the horns of this dilemma (don't you love the image, Lord?) I have devised a plan that is based largely on my long-held belief that a truly effective PR effort has to be tied either to a calendar event or a current news item. This week, I'm opting for "news item."
John Edwards sleeps with a woman he "doesn't love" and pleads narcissism. We exhibit some hoary corporate behavior and plead.... Now you're catching on, Lord. Let's look for a moment at how the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (edition 4) defines narcissism.
A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy.
Do you see the similarity between our current PR problem and the current big news story now?
Anyway, the task before me is to prove that we here at Vermont Yankee are only narcissistic in the same cute, forgivable, "hey, even Jimmy Carter lusted in his heart" way that John Edwards is. And so I've devised the following test that we, as an institution, will, of course, pass. Or flunk. I can't figure out which way to phrase that to best PR effect. Anyway, here is my just-off-the-press test:
My name is
When I'm caught in a lie I get
I have enough problems on my hands without worrying about other people's
I am more than most people or institutions.
I'm not quite sure, Lord, how to score this thing, but then thinking ideas through to their conclusions has never been my long suit.
Anyway, I'm going to pass this test around for upper management approval. In the meanwhile, I gotta go to my $400 hair cut. Feel free to get in line. Management is buying one for everyone. Oh, and if I were you, Lord, I wouldn't use the men's room toilet, at least not until it's been disinfected.
Fake-Rob
No comments:
Post a Comment