Paris Hilton Turned Away from NRC Inspections

Dear Lord,

Yes! It's true! The NRC inspections of the Vermont Yankee cooling towers have become such a hot-ticket item that bouncer Stephen Wark, also a Department of Public Service spokesman, had to turn away celebrity Paris Hilton at the big, steel and concrete door.

"The joint is just too hoppin', honey," he explained. Then, licking his lips, he added, "And frankly, you seem too biased on the topic of nuclear energy to be of much help."

Reporters at the scene heard a loud, disappointed groan emerge from inside the plant when the NRC inspectors realized they wouldn't be getting her help. When last seen, a miffed, mini-skirted Paris Hilton and a modestly-dressed and deeply sympathetic Jimmy Carter (on hand to monitor any shenanigans at the scene) joined arms and left the area of the plant, as Paris said, to solidify their credentials and pet her little dog.

Meanwhile, superstar reporter Laughing Mama has alleged a mind-exploding story about an encounter at the ASLB hearing in Newfane with bouncer/DPS attorney Tony Roisman. I'd paraphrase it here, but I couldn't do it justice. Really, Lord, I encourage you to follow the link. Read the comment she says Roisman made about the "right people" for the oversight panel. Then weep. Then call Jimmy Carter, and maybe Peter Shumlin and Gaye Symington.

Amen,

Fake-Rob