Gary Sachs Said a No-No about Doo-Doo

Dear God,

It was kind of a groom's side/bride's side thing at last night's Windham County forum on Vermont's Energy Future. The people from Vermont Yankee (and for Vermont Yankee) sat mostly on the left. The people opposed to Vermont Yankee sat mostly on the right.

And it's true about Gary Sachs and the no-no. First, a speaker who also happened to be an Entergy employee testified that all of the waste produced in more than 30 years by Vermont Yankee could fit in a small box. I know, Lord. One is not supposed to lie in public testimony. We've been through that lesson. But his testimony wasn't sworn. Then something really fun happened. Just a bit later and picking up on the "small box" theme, nuclear activist Gary Sachs suggested that everyone put his or her "personal waste" in a small box and send it to the Public Service Board--I suppose as an expression of disgust about the lack of solutions to the "What do we do with all of the nuclear waste now that Yucca Mountain isn't going to open?" problem. Gary did assure us all that the personal waste in our little private boxes wouldn't be radioactive. (Actually, he didn't. He said he hoped it wouldn't be radioactive, leaving unsaid the implication--which is that maybe for those of us living in Vermont Yankee's shadow, it is.) Gary even gave the address in Montpelier. My box of doo-doo is ready to mail to 112 State Street (Chittenden Bank Building), Drawer 20, Montpelier, VT 05620-2701

Oh, yeah. Then Gary used the word "crap," which, as I understand it, is a no-no for doo-doo. I may be mis-remembering but I think he used it as an expletive when he was pointing out that all of the Vermont Yankee employees who had said that VY is carbon neutral were not taking into account the amount of fossil fuels burned in mining uranium, building a concrete and steel plant, building concrete and steel storage, etc., etc. Gary said that nuclear plants require so much carbon expenditure that nuclear energy should be considered "fossil fuel derivative."

Claire Chang of the Citizens Awareness Network explained to the panel of senators that she'd dramatically reduced her household's energy consumption. Actually, she'd eliminated entirely her reliance on the electrical grid. I must admit that while she was speaking I got distracted noticing how all of the "suits" at Vermont Yankee had shown up in Carhardt jackets, as though they were trying to look like Vermonters, and that people on both the bride and groom's side of the aisle kept saying "utilise" rather than "use," as though senators like polysyllabic words more than regular ones. Anyway, I'm not sure whether any solar panels were involved in Claire's little energy experiment, but she did say that whatever she did didn't cost much or require much engineering know-how on her part; she'd just used materials available at any hardware store and figured out what to do with them. She suggested that everyone conserve energy. Thank heavens, she stopped just short of calling for a state-wide strike on grid-generated energy consumption to demonstrate how little we need Vermont Yankee's contribution to the power supply. She was awfully convincing. It wouldn't be difficult to imagine a run in the near future on hardware stores and a strike like the one that she didn't quite suggest.

Anyway, Lord, I realized when I checked the news this morning that I've passed up another good PR opportunity. Remember what I explained before about the importance of tying publicity to calendar dates? Well, today is Microwave Oven Day and I almost missed it. And you know what we say when we put our TV dinner in the microwave, right? Nuke it! And how about Vermont? Nuke it! How about the truth? Nuke it!

Thanks, Lord. Love,

Fake-Rob

Update: Gary Sachs says, "No! Not the Public Service Board for those boxes of personal waste! The Department of Public Service!" The address is almost the same. (The zip code is different.) 112 State St, Drawer 20, Montpelier VT, 05620-2601