Monday, June 20, 2011

The Thrill Is Over

Dear God,

I was going to send you a postcard, but I'm not really on vacation. I've been transferred--to Entergy's Pilgrim Nuclear Power Plant--which, when you think of it, is kind of like being on vacation because it's on Cape Cod Bay. So, frankly, I haven't prayed because I'm no longer that interested in how the people of Vermont, New Hampshire, and Massachusetts feel about Vermont Yankee. As if I ever was.

And then there's the added problem of every time anyone says "nuclear power" recently, everyone thinks "Fukushima," and then no one feels like laughing.

But today's news is so breath-takingly scary that I thought I'd pray anyway. The Nation is reporting that the Obama administration "has ordered a 'total and complete' news blackout relating to any information regarding the near catastrophic meltdown of the Fort Calhoun Nuclear Power Plant located in Nebraska."

It's right near Omaha. Hey, Cornhuskers are people, too! Apparently, nearly two weeks ago, the plant suffered a catastrophic loss of cooling to one of its spent fuel rod pools, and as a result there was a fire. This happened as a consequence of Missouri River flooding. The release of radioactivity into the atmosphere appears to have been negligable.

However you spell "negligable." It's a word we use a lot in nuclear plant PR, so you'd think I'd know.

Anyway, God, I'll be in touch again. But not as much. Like I said, I don't work for Vermont Yankee anymore. Also, remember I said I wouldn't pray about the Fukushima disaster because there was nothing funny in it? Well, that's how I'm feeling about Omaha now, too--and Obama. (This is assuming that The Nation's report is correct.) If The Nation has its story straight, the thrill is over on any relationship between POTUS and me. BB King would be crying a river of tears if he were here--which might be bad, if he were in the vicinity of a nuclear power plant.

Lots of amens, God. Best friends forever!

Fake-Rob

Update 9pm: The New York Times has a story about nuclear plants and flooding on the Missouri.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh fake Rob, even if you don't think about us anymore, we still think about you, and check your blog before hitting the hay, just for one last belly-laugh before bedtime. Fare well. laughingmama