Hallelujah!

Dear Lord,

I don't know how you do it! I just want to let you know that not only do I adore and worship you, I admire your PR abilities.

The fish in the Connecticut River are poisoned with Strontium-90. The Associated Press today ran a story about yesterday's unplanned outage. Lord knows what they'll run tomorrow, because today we got caught harboring sinkholes near where the leaks of radioactive isotopes occurred. We've had to abandon our plans for Enexus, and we're fighting for our lives with the Vermont legislature. But look at this: No one cares anymore!

Click the graph to enlarge it.


Click the graph to enlarge it.
According to Google's Insights for Search feature, interest in Vermont Yankee peaked in the third quarter of 2009 when these were the news stories:

• State Board to Consider Vermont Yankee Shutdown
  
  
• Top Vermont Yankee Official 'Relieved of Duties'
  
  
• Tritium Search at Vermont Yankee Turns Up Reading 90 Times Higher than Previous Record
  

But this week, no one seems to care about us. Interest in Vermont Yankee is tanking! And as we say in the PR business…. Actually, I don't remember what we say in the PR business.

But thank you, Lord. This apathy is truly miraculous. And don't you just love Google?

See my Google movie!



Amen,

Fake-Rob

Meet the Little Yanks!

Dear God,

Who says we're not taking the discovery of Strontium-90 in fish in the Connecticut River seriously? Even the youngest among us are concerned. Gosh, those mutants are cute and sensitive, and with just the right amount of environmental concern, to boot. Though they do worry too much.




Amen,

Fake-Rob

Who Would Elvis Costello Side With?

Dear God,

Oh, I just don't know where to begin.

1. The lab analyzing the damage of the oil spill has a huge contract with BP.
   
   
2. People are saying that the NRC, long accused of being a lapdog to the nuclear power industry, let Entergy Vermont Yankee off too easily when they found no violations regarding our epic tritium leak.
   

Now, really. The fuss people are making about these things! It's reminds me of the hoo-hah about the independent investigation that concluded that Entergy Vermont Yankee did not intentionally mislead investigators and state regulators concerning buried piping. The investigation turned out to have been conducted by our own lawyers, a discovery that raised questions about independence. Well, who do people expect us to hire to check us out quickly if not a firm that knows us well?

And who do BP critics expect them to hire to get their tests done if not a crew who comes to their Christmas parties?

And c'mon, God. Can't you help people see that unprecedented disasters are rare by definition, and therefore not often quickly followed by similar disasters? Everyone should relax and let the entire nuclear industry do its job of providing power that is too cheap to meter honestly. We're not going to have another tritium leak, and neither is anyone in the industry now that awareness has been heightened. And the oil industry is unlikely to have another catastrophic oil leak.

It's not like we're driving hit and run. We learn from our accidents. They happen.

Amen,

Fake-Rob

Safe, Clean, and Reliable

Dear God,

"Now is the time for clean energy, Mr. President." Robert Redford just said that, and he said it, like, in response to a photo of some baby sea turtle or something smothered in oil down in Louisiana. It's all these disgusting photos on the Huffington Post that have famous actors singing the praises of wind, solar, and biomass power.

But what about clean nuclear power? If we had a nuclear accident the scale of the BP oil disaster, our wildlife photos wouldn't be nearly as heartbreaking as these photos coming up from the Gulf Coast. There's nothing muddy about cases of radiation overdose. Look here at what Wikipedia says:

A few symptom-free days may pass between the appearance of the initial symptoms and the onset of symptoms of more severe illness associated with higher doses of radiation. Nausea and vomiting generally occur within 24–48 hours after exposure to mild (1–2 Gy) doses of radiation. Headache, fatigue, and weakness are also seen with mild exposure. Moderate (2–3.5 Gy of radiation) exposure is associated with nausea and vomiting beginning within 12–24 hours after exposure. In addition to the symptoms of mild exposure, fever, hair loss, infections, bloody vomit and stools, and poor wound healing are seen with moderate exposure. Nausea and vomiting occur in less than 1 hour after exposure to severe (3.5–5.5 Gy) doses of radiation, followed by diarrhea and high fever in addition to the symptoms of lower levels of exposure. Very severe (5.5–8 Gy of radiation) exposure is followed by the onset of nausea and vomiting in less than 30 minutes followed by the appearance of dizziness, disorientation, and low blood pressure in addition to the symptoms of lower levels of exposure. Severe exposure is fatal about 50% of the time.

So, wow! Up to 50% of our wildlife could survive an event. But that turtle fouled by BP? He could easily be a goner. And, with radiation sickness the deaths are clean, if you can stand a little vomit and diarrhea. If you can't, no worries. Photographers don't win Cute But Sad Picture awards for snaps of puking porcupines, so they won't take the shots in the first place. They couldn't come within a 100 miles of a photo opportunity, anyway, without risking their lives.

So the good news is that there will never be pictures from Vermont to match those we're currently seeing from the Gulf Coast. The bad news is that there's been a lot of talk in Vermont lately about how the cozy relationship between federal regulators and the oil industry created just the right environment for something disastrous like the BP oil spill to happen. The implication is that we have similar regulatory shenanigans going on up here between the NRC and Entergy Vermont Yankee. Well, I say, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

For example, you! Mr. Robert Redford! Your good looks and suave manner have made you a rich man, and have probably gotten you into more than a few beds. Do you really expect us to believe that you've never been in bed with a federal regulator? Given how easy that is to do, I doubt it highly, sir.

God, right now I'm seeing this BP oil spill as a potential plus for nuclear power, given that our post-disaster photos would be so much cleaner than those from BP, and given that the call for clean energy is arising in the land. Every cloud has a silver lining, God. Every last cloud.

Thank you for clouds, Lord. Oh, and thanks for all that silver, too.

Amen,

Fake-Rob