Why I Love Vermont Yankee

Dear God,

Are you there? It's me, Fake-Rob. I'm so scared. Just this week the White House announced that it may stop distribution of anti-radiation pills (a/k/a/ potassium iodide pills) to people living within 20 miles of a nuclear power plant. The White House says that the distribution program is undermining the PR efforts of the nuclear industry. You may remember that the pills help prevent the thyroid cancer that can result from radiation exposure, and that they are especially effective in protecting the health of children.

Dear God, the Democrats in Congress are getting FURIOUS. Lawyers are getting involved. My phone is ringing. God, why must adults argue? Please help. Don't let anyone yell at me.

Anyway, God, in thanks to you for showing the White House that good PR is worth paying the ultimate price of millions of lives, I've compiled a list of the ten things I like best about working at Vermont Yankee.

The Ten Best Things

10. It's probably no more dangerous to work here than to live near here
9. My Playstation 3 glows in the dark.
8. There is little chance that I'm the dumbest guy around.
7. It's more fun than licking Chinese toys.
6. Despite what our wives think, if we guys at the plant want to stop having children there is no medical need for us to neuter ourselves.
5. If disaster strikes, Fox News will be on our side.
4. Some of us have Spock ears.
3. I forgot what number 3 is.
2. No matter how often we shower, we always smell like roses.
1. Our group "bonding" exercise is kicking a dead horse.

Thanks, God. I love you,

Fake-Rob